Recently, the image of Xiao Mo’s "nice guy" in the hit TV series "Female Psychologist" is impressive, but everyone will give him any overtime work, but he doesn’t know how to refuse. The topic about him has been on the hot search twice recently-"Xiao Mo’s sense of substitution in the workplace is too strong" and "Xiao Mo’s rejection of colleagues for the first time is so cool".
In the workplace, it is inevitable that I will help my colleagues around me to do this and that, but I am much more busy, not only physically tired but also tired. Chen Yun, a 28-year-old Chongqing guy, also wanted to refuse to help some colleagues in the workplace, but he didn’t know how to speak. So, how to say "no" in the workplace, which can not only refuse successfully, but also not offend people?
Colleagues ask for help, but they can’t say "no"
Chen Yun is now the marketing manager of a company in Jiulongpo District. At first, he worked in an office, and his colleagues helped each other. The atmosphere was quite harmonious. At the end of last year, he was transferred to the marketing department of the company.
When I came to the marketing department, my colleagues Xiao Yang and Chen Yun lived in the same community. At ordinary times, Xiao Yang took Chen Yun’s car to work without driving. At first, Chen Yun was very happy. After all, being a colleague in a department and a neighbor, it is appropriate to take care of each other. Besides, sometimes it is also possible to reciprocate. But this summer, Xiao Yang will go to help his wife look after the shop after work. If he doesn’t sleep very well, he doesn’t drive to work very much. He looks for Chen Yun to rub the car at both ends every three days. Although they are colleagues and neighbors, sometimes they have to ride the bus three or four times a week. At this point, Chen Yun’s wife is very dissatisfied, but Chen Yun doesn’t know how to refuse, so she has to come to the net.
Chen Yun said that colleagues like to ask him for help in their usual work, such as adjusting the report format. "Because the department collects report data every month, although I am doing the report, I need the leader to revise and review it before submitting it, but every time my colleagues ask me to urge the leader, I ask the leader carefully every time, afraid of offending the leader."
Chen Yun’s personality is mild, and he thinks it is appropriate for colleagues to help each other properly, but he doesn’t know how to say what he doesn’t want to help, and he is also worried that he will offend people and bring bad negative comments after refusing.
Small coup to say "no"
In the workplace, how to say "no" with high emotional intelligence? Let’s take a look at the coup of some experienced professionals and professionals.
Pre-judgment result method
Ms. Deng (33-year-old secretary):I have written enough things at ordinary times. Before, some colleagues asked me for help in writing the propaganda draft, but I felt that I just said, "Sorry, I’m not available." It would seem very inhuman, and that’s how I refused: "Sorry! I still have several documents in my hand to be completed today and tomorrow, and the time is really not enough. If I help you write in a hurry and the quality of writing is low, I will definitely not achieve the publicity effect you want. "
Netizen "Tree Sister":"I’ll leave the task of opening the door every day to you!" At this time, you can say: "Sister, I have always lost my keys recently, which has caused my house to be locked twice. I dare not take this from the company. I am afraid that all the computers will be removed by thieves and I can’t afford to mortgage me!" The subtext of this sentence is "no", and colleagues will certainly understand it, without hurting each other’s face or damaging the atmosphere among colleagues.
"Rejection+suggestion" method
Workplace blogger "Teacher Xu in the Workplace":Directly say the reason for refusing, show the other person the work in your hand, and say, "I am really busy. I have to hand it in today, and my time and energy are not enough." At the same time, express an apology and give the other party some ways and means.
Jiao Jiao (28-year-old copywriter):Before, a colleague asked me for help to catch up with the plan, but I was too busy to refuse, but I still found many similar cases for her to send to her for reference, and later our relationship was not affected.
Reverse help method
Yao Jun (30-year-old Marketing):Refuse some unreasonable requests from colleagues and ask for help in the opposite direction. One of my former colleagues always asks me to buy breakfast for her, on the grounds that I walk to work and arrive earlier than her every day, and she always walks to work too late. Later, I asked her to have lunch and pack it for me for several days in a row, and then she didn’t look for me much. Others ask you for help, so you also ask him for help. If he can’t help twice, then he is embarrassed to ask you for help again.
Workplace blogger "Zhang Yongjun stresses management";In the past, when I was just working, I lacked experience. There was an "old slick" in the department who always pushed his work to me. At first, I was embarrassed to refuse him. As a result, after helping him, I not only didn’t thank me, but also took credit in front of the leaders. Later, I figured it out, and later I would resolutely refuse him. So, how to reject others correctly?
First, establish social boundaries and bottom lines. Helping others at work is based on altruism and self-interest. If you need to sacrifice your own interests to help others achieve their goals, you must explicitly refuse.
Second, you can use exchange terms and external factors to refuse others. For example, if a colleague asks for help to make a PPT, you can answer, "I can help you do it, but this work will take three hours, and I am in a hurry to write an important copy. Can you help me finish it?" If the other party accepts it, you can also accept its request, if the other party does not accept it, you can also refuse it;
Third, the best way to refuse others is to be gentle and simple.
Do the "repeater" method
Workplace blogger "Lao Xia talks about the workplace": When someone strongly asks you for help, you don’t have to worry too much. Just say, "Sorry, I’m very busy, so I shouldn’t have time to help you." However, some people still don’t give up: "This matter is very simple, and it won’t take you long." At this time, you can continue to say, "But I’m really busy." The other party continues to say, "Oh, you won’t help me with this …", and you continue to say, "I’m really sorry, I’m really busy!"
Comments:
The high EQ in the workplace is mutual.
Zhou Xiaoyan, a professor of psychology at Chongqing Normal University, believes that things that are easy to be kidnapped by colleagues in the workplace are generally attributed to lifting a finger by the other party, which is weakened to being on the way, comfortable and smooth. If you don’t do it, it is defined as not pleasing to the eye and not satisfying. So how to deal with it?
First, the establishment of workplace labels, perhaps your business level is not top-notch, and it is not an indispensable and important role of the unit. Others psychologically position that you can order and rub, so the solution is to establish your own workplace labels, and strength determines your status. Even if you are a weak personality, I believe that if you are a technical expert of the unit, no one dares to order you, which is also the only way to stop being a "good guy" in the workplace.
Second, establish a sense of workplace boundaries, and stress the principle of reciprocity. For example, if I help you, then you should also help me, but if everything orders you, you must have the courage to order each other; Third, things are no more than three. There must be a bottom line in your heart. If a person always asks you for help, he can only refuse decisively and just say "no".
Finally, the high EQ in the workplace is mutual. It’s not that the "nice guy" has to do high EQ to help others, and try to make them happy in various ways, but that the helper should have high EQ and think about how to make people happy to help and help.
Urban Hot News-Xiang Yu reporter Zhang Chunlian
Original title: The "good guy" in the workplace who doesn’t know how to refuse has brought trouble to himself.
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